A deep depression surges
inside my heart like splinters
piercing through my skin in the winter
waters of emotion
what was my devotion
to love or to lust?
what was I in for
Did I mean the things I said?
Her objects surround me,
more love than I've gotten from
anyone else on this planet
but i fucked up
I became delusional
and lost sight of
the cup
half empty or half full
i cant remember
the answer to these riddles
almost december
almost an ember
she tried to blow
but i stomped on it
and now
just
ashes
to go

To whom it may concern,
                   Life is a journey in which experiences are many but understanding is few. I look out only to see a reflection of my inner state. Long before I started believing this I started to see the patterns. Things that other people missed. the answers to my questions started to present themselves in the most obscure and unpredictable places. Looking out preceded my meditation. Many things never made sense to me. War, hate, death, but through my inner as well as outer search I've found the answer. We are infinite beings, separate from our reality only by the perception that the matter has end, that it has form and that it is finite. the universe on the contrary feeds back to itself, only taking what it needs and never needing anything at the same time.

The meditative man

I have gone on a spiritual journey. My entire life was all really just a spiritual journey. Through ups and downs it's all a test to see if the essence (light) that you started off with will leave you . That's the only thing from the past that I really hold on to. That ever-burning light, that beauty. All life is beauty though. In it's most simplest form, without all the complications. Today I saw many things through my perception of space, time, and the world. My understanding of these visions wasn't new, but the way in which I saw them was. I saw the answer to many questions. In my minds eye I saw a man, like any other. He was sitting down, straight, attentive, as if he was between sleep and the waking world. As the vision got clearer I saw that he was naked. He was sitting in the middle of the train. At first I got a glimpse of him from the front. Then suddenly he was facing the other way. He let off a sort of aura and I immediately thought of Jesus, Buddha, etc. I was fixated on the word enlightenment. And then in the space between the man and everybody else I saw an immense flow of energy. Words fail to explain, but if I had to I would say it was a mass circulation of emotions and conscious states of being. I saw that in the space surrounding the man the energy was erratic, sort of like fists being pounded against each other, as if it was fighting itself. All this transcended pass what we call matter . It consisted of everything that ever was, is, and will be. A flash and it was all gone. I saw that everyone around the man stood watching him, perplexed, amazed, angry, awed. And the more they looked the more the energy was changed within them. When I looked closer I saw that the meditative man was a mirror. He was a reflection of every person on that train cart. He was at balance with the entire universe and himself, for he realized it was one and the same.

The wound

The wound doesn't hurt

The reason for the bloodshed does

The care that wasn't there

Replaced by intent not to mend

But to hurt

And as it leaks I am reminded

That I thirst for sense

Holding back the hatred that seems so dense

Forgive but not to forget

Love more, hate less

Don't be like the rest

For on that path you'll find

No rest

Composition of understanding.

When confronted by conscious states( actually unconscious states) of being that take up low levels of dimensionality we face the fear of being transformed into them, of being sucked into a vortex of thoughtless-ness. But this fear is predetermined as your reality lies in your hands alone. why worry? If the key to supreme being and energy just lies in understanding. In compassion . In this sense compassion means to be taken by the passion of others. To not only sympathize but to empathize. To understand and therefore to root out all evil.  

Train

Pillars for the city

Gliding past

Holding up the hearts and minds

going fast

Never sleeping

Never dreaming

Moments

Never last

And so the city

of lights

Feels the crash

Oblivious

That we are

off track.

 

The conundrum

To be or not to be, that is the question!
To be ..the greatest I can be, to achieve the greatest I can achieve, to live to the fullest potentiality that a man could live to. To build, to conquer, to inspire, to be inspired, to be driven. or not to be... For what purpose? For the pursuit of happiness? For the pursuit of knowledge? In wisdom there is no suffering, but in nothingness there is also no suffering. What is the point to all this madness, in this machine-like world that swallows you alive if you only let it. Isnt it better not to be? In that nothingness and silence no energy is wasted. the entire cosmos in the palm of your hand. in that nothingness there is a deep understanding. All the possibilities are shown to you while you lay dormant. All of them real. As real as you are.